I wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me.
I know better. I know that I know better. I let myself fall for her anyway. The woman of my dreams and completely out of my league.
She's intelligent, funny, caring, playful, understanding, supportive, knows how it feels to be an outcast, knows that being different isn't a bad thing, and of course intimidatingly beautiful. And I'm..... me.
With my legion of faults and flaws, it's a complete fallacy to think she might have any sort of romantic interest in me. To think that anyone could possibly fine me even remotely attractive is absurd.
If I didn't have work I'd be crying myself to sleep right now.
Yeah, I'm a fucking moron for letting myself get this attached to someone so far out of reach. I'll just have to deal with it like every other time I've let myself get attached to someone. I'll cry for a year or so and eventually feel good enough to embark on yet another journey of self-humiliation in the name of romance.
It's times like this that I almost wish I weren't an atheist. At least then I'd have someone else I could blame.